My Personal Experience as an Insider and Outsider

My own experiences

Insider

Reflecting on when I am an insider within groups has led me to think about the many different social interactions I have. I have thought about my professional, familial relationships and social relationships. I would have to conclude that the group I feel most “inside” is the familial group. Even though I haven’t seen my family in over two years, we are a very tight-knit family. I would say I feel like an insider because of the common bonds of hobbies, culture, and experiences. These bonds make it very easy to talk in the same language with each other. We share many of the same passions and values and have many topics to discuss. We also have similar histories (all of us grew up in the same town). These factors mean that we are comfortable discussing different topics and sharing stories or information that we know the person is likely to be interested in or engaged with.

Outsider

One of the times that I always feel like an outsider is when I go out to dinner with Chinese friends. Some of them are only able to speak limited English. I am the one at fault, as I am in their country and haven’t tried to learn their language; however, the feelings of being an outsider are acute at that point. I share little in common with most of them, having been brought up in a different culture speaking a foreign language. The language barrier is a huge issue in China, as it hinders almost all potential to create bonds and prohibits the chance of finding those needed commonalities between people.

Student’s reflection

Outsider

This year we had a new student join our school from Canada. I chose to talk to her because I knew that she would share her experiences of feeling like an outsider. When I sat down with Liya, I reminded her of her first few weeks at our school, and she said that she felt like she didn’t know her way around the school, what the school rules were and who the friendly students were. She said that all of those things made her feel like an outsider. Liya stated that she “felt afraid to start a new school,” as she “didn’t know anybody else.” She worried that she wouldn’t find any new friends and she missed her old friends at her previous school.

Insider

Now that Liya has been at our school for over half a year, she says that she has made friends with her classmates, has found out that she likes the same programs as her classmates and shares jokes with them. She now feels like an insider within our classroom. I have observed Liya taking control of tasks and taking responsibility for others. She has become a thoughtful, helpful student within our class and has formed solid friendships with her peers. Liya now says that she looks forward to coming to school and seeing her friends. She feels part of the class and enjoys playing with her friends during break. Being an insider seems to be about finding commonalities between you and the group.